Everyone says you should. I never do when I start a diet, because I have no faith in myself. But I did it this time! I’m going all-in, y’all. Y’all-in?
Here you go, enjoy these ugly statistics (I am extra so I measured a few oddball items for fun):
Head: 23.5″ (Call me Fathead Everdeen)
Neck: 17″
Upper Arm (at the dangliest bit): 22″ **Note: Part of my upper arm is sort of normal in size, but the uppermost part is like the skin gave out and I have a super giant dangly bit, which I should photograph for you, but I don’t know if I can look at a picture of it TBH. Y’all need to know that if I get below 175lbs, I am absolutely getting my arms done FIRST. I will sell my car to do it; I do not care.
Forearm: 11″
Wrist: 7.25″
Index Finger: 2.75″ (size 12 ring, of which I have a lot. I look forward to needing to resize them.) Also, I am a dork. Shoulda measured my birdy finger – that’s the one that gets the most use.
Boobs: Did not measure. My boobs aren’t where they are supposed to be, and I’m measuring my waist anyway… (j/k, but not entirely) Size 46G right now.
Waist: 48″
Hips: 64″ (These boys are chair busters, I am telling you.)
Thigh: 37″ (Arguably some of the largest thighs around, but that’s true even when I’m not morbidly obese) That gives me about 74″ of combined thigh. Y’all know these babies are going to look like loose harem pants one day.
Calf: 20″
These numbers are as of today. Most of these dimensions would have been larger 6 weeks ago, I know because of the way things fit today.
I like to think of my natural figure as Peasant Build. Sturdy legs, extra energy stored on my thighs (for working the fields), wide hips (for birthin’), small waist (for attaching aprons), big boobs (for attractin’ a mate and feeding babies). I did not make full use of my build and am childless, but that was just bad luck.
That’s all for today!
xo
***Okay, I did my boobs in 2 parts and they fall somewhere between 52″ and 56″. I could have put on a bra, but this is LOW EFFORT ™ fun.
Fatulous 