Feeling High, Not Fat

Sadly, I cannot attribute my “high” to weed. It’s still illegal here. It’s probably best, because I am not at all prepared to battle the munchies.

But as the title says, I am feeling kinda high right now. Anyone following along will note that PMS may hit in a week, so let’s enjoy this moment of optimism, shall we?

I tried to eat more than my allotted calories yesterday. I keep reading about people needing a blow out day (not, like, a big binge, but a “don’t watch the clock or the count” day) and yesterday was going to be it. I got within 50 calories of my max recommended for the day and could not go any further before I needed to close my eating window for the day. By 11pm, I probably could have enjoyed a snack, but I truly, madly, deeply did not want to.

I literally could not eat more than my recommended calories.

Let’s repeat that. I. Couldn’t. Even.

I’m sure that was an isolated event. There are bound to be days when my calories seem like something out of Oliver Twist (please, sir, may I have a few more calories), but it is still amazing to have a day where it was more than enough.

Also, I sincerely browsed the snack bowl at lunch time today and took a pass. My desire for the stuff in the bowl was not sufficient for the calories they would cost me. Let that little gem sink in. If you are embarking on weight loss, you might feel, secretly, that there is no hope that you will succeed. You might try, but deep in your heart have no faith that it will work. I know I felt that way many, many times. I essentially felt that way for 20 years. All of a sudden, though, I realize that not only can I do this, but it actually works. A lot has gone into this formula to get me this far. My head, my heart, my knowledge bank all needed work. Years of work. And no doubt, my needs will change as I go along. The important part is that for the first time in my life, I believe that I can do this. And I believe that I can do this without gaining it all back in the end.

I don’t know how far I plan to take this. We will see. My general goal is to lose somewhere around 200 pounds. How long that takes, whether I need adjust that number, will be revealed in time. For now, I’m 15% of the way there. If 15% was a discount on some good I wanted to purchase, I’d be pumped. Not as pumped as I would be for a 50% discount, but let’s look at it another way – I now need to lose 170ish pounds. Not 200. 170.

I’ll take it.



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